Relationship Insights from Two Comedy Greats

I am a student of comedy and like most comics I can cut through the funny part of jokes and actually weigh the truth that a comedian is trying to convey. Chris Rock and the Late Patrice O’Neal are two comedians who are not only hilarious but are also known for their deeply insightful thoughts that they tried reaching across to their audiences. In this blog I am going to break down what these two comedians spoke about relationships. Both of them had opposite views when it came to relationships and both are right in their own ways. This blog has material that has been covered in stand up specials such as Bigger and Blacker, Never Scared, Big ass jokes, Bring the Pain, Kill the Messenger as well as the radio show that the Late Patrice O’neal hosted called the Black Phillip Show.

Both Chris Rock and Patrice stated that women don’t like nice guys. Chris Rock says that when he usually meets a woman it’s after she’s been with a total asshole. Rock who in the bit considers himself as a ‘Nice guy’ says that more than sex what consumed most of the relationship was free therapy [given by him]. Patrice on the other hand states it very clearly, “women don’t like Nice guys! So don’t Nice your way out of your own happiness. You have to be an asshole in placing your happiness first but be an asshole in a righteous way”.

Patrice used the word righteous a lot in his talking. To him it meant that he lived a life true to his values which involved brutal honesty and a high degree of self-assurance. His mantra was to tell a girl what he expected however absurd or dirty it was. He was also very vocal about advising men to not let a woman waste their time. He talks about how women can let you take them out for a movie and dinner while making up their mind that they are not going to be with you in any romantic way. Patrice said that his happiness was ‘paramount’ to him and went on to say that that women like a man who is happy by himself and not someone who needs them to be happy. He put it this way, “all a woman needs to know is that her man is cool and she doesn’t have to be a mom to him”. He even said that a happy man would be in a happy relationship where both the man and woman are happy whereas a relationship where only the woman is happy would make for an unhappy relationship.

Chris Rock on the other hand did the entire marriage bit where his punchline was “fellows just remember that marriage is not about you”. He goes on to advice men to wake up, look at the mirror and tell themselves that it’s not about their hopes, dreams, plans or all that they thought that this life was about. “Life is about making your woman happy”, Rock said.

Even with respect to women who do not reciprocate your feelings, Rock and Patrice had different views. Patrice said that, “if a woman does not reciprocate my feelings for her, then I take away my free love which I volunteered to give her and walk away”. Chris Rock when he did the bit on ‘the friend-zone’, said that “women get to have platonic friends. Men just have women they haven’t slept with yet and that is how they end up being stuck in the friend-zone”.

Lastly I want to cover what these comedians spoke about cheating. Rock said that after a woman takes you back when you’ve cheated on her then you start doubting her if she is cheating on you the same way you cheated on her. He then joked about doubting his woman. Patrice had a complete opposite view and this stems from how self assured he was as a human. He knew how beautiful his woman was and knew that guys would hit on her constantly and he said that he could see it happen with his own eyes but it didn’t worry him. He said in his characteristic raw style “I’ve removed the sting out of fucking for my woman. Sex doesn’t mean much to women because ever since they were 13, boys have been hitting on them. More than sex what she needs is your personality. That she can’t find in another man.”

Since these jokes, Chris Rock is divorced which is something he talks about honestly in his latest brilliant Special ‘Tambourine’ and Patrice O’Neal died when he was 42 from diabetes. The woman who became his wife produced a documentary about him in his honor.

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