What goes unsaid.

Heart nebula, courtesy of Stargazers Lounge

I remain silent most minutes of each day, not from fear to quip up or lack of thought; so much as fear that I may be lonesome in my daydreams or my daytime commits.

My addiction has brought me strangely, to my lowest-lacking the physical dependence, the mental makes up. I don’t want to live this way any longer. I am far from old but no where near young. I want to see life for all of it’s damned glimpses.

I want to recognize the eyes that look back at me, I want to be assured that thoughts and opinions I speak and mutter; I own, they aren’t wasted breath to make another happy.

I want to wake and have drive to live, to be self sufficient, to be a half in a pair. I want to prove to the ones that I love, when I spoke of dedication I meant dedication.

There was a time where I spoke loudly, a time when I used my body, a time when I used the magic of Houdini’s disappearing acts and so many other weak ways to compensate for my meek esteem.

I can no longer afford; more on the emotional (and long before now on the financial) level to survive in this manner. My hearts ledger is screaming in bright rid derogation.

Many more ailments of my soul are slicing through my thin skinned exterior, with time self love will stitch each gape creating a masterpiece of scars to decorate my canvas.

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