Are You Who You Think You Are?

Take a long hard look in the mirror

We all have a story that we tell ourselves about who we think we are. Sometimes the narrative is positive, sometimes it’s negative and sometimes it is just downright delusional.

The way that we perceive ourselves and the way that we are perceived by others varies a lot of the time. We believe that we are a certain way; only to have other people think the opposite because of the behavior we have exhibited.

When I was younger I always used to think I was a really chilled-out person. That I was unbelievably Zen, and whenever it came to dating someone this was the first impression that they would get from me too. Until I would get really invested and then my inner green-eyed monster would come out and I would get racked with jealousy and I would always be weirdly competitive with my partner at the time.

This would go completely against the story that I was telling myself because I had convinced myself that I was a chilled out non-jealous person but my behavior and actions were saying the complete opposite.

I had to take a long hard look in the mirror and accept that the story I was telling myself was false. Whether I liked accepting it or not, there was too much evidence to suggest that this story was not true.

It’s not an easy pill to swallow when you have to accept a flaw about yourself, especially one you had convinced yourself to not be true. But acceptance is the first step to recovery. Once this has been acknowledged the healing work can begin.

This also works in reverse too. We convince ourselves that we aren’t good enough and put ourselves down constantly without realising it. But once we accept that this is a toxic behavior we can begin to change this pattern of thinking.

Personally, I believe that it is harder to accept being delusional about something. We all are prone to this to some extent in our lives. Maybe we aren’t as good at something as we thought we were, or we believed we acted a certain way but didn’t realise this wasn’t the case. Whatever it is, there is still no shame in accepting the hard truth because it’s that acceptance that allows us to improve.

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